I am still grieving

Needless to say a friend died about 3 weeks ago. I have been griveing for everyone ever since that time.  In who rude and discussting Buddy "doc"Howard is to tell me I will be the next one int he paper is just HEARTLESS on his stuppid asses part.  If I do I will haunt his stupid ass untill he dies himself and then some.  Then go after his children how ever many there is in this world.  First I am italian and then german and french pluss indian.  Mostly Indian and Iltalian.  I don't even wanna screw with myself what makes others wanna in the same since.  That says something when the person doesen't even wanna bother with them selves after all these years.  I am hard core next to some.  NY City has shit compaired to St. Louis and E. St. Louis at this point when "doc" grew up.  We were the merder capitole of the us for a reason.  Along with gary Indiana for a reason.  We all diden't play.  None of us at all.  Ask the past governers of the state of Illinois. That is why the Spitzer girls diden't spit.  Need I say more.  Nothing suprizezes me anymore.  If floks don't see it then that is on them and let lem have a  .45 in thier mouth at 14 years of age.  I kept my life and then some. Now let folks say something about how I grew up.  And some wander why I drink in my age.  I try to froget but will comeback to haunt folks later on.