Things are still blowing up

Well I tried to contact someone and got shot down. Well at least I left a phone number and went from there the ball is still in her court. I want to make sure that the rumors were right and I guess I will never know now. I haven't said much since I have met my step-daughter at all. Or maybe the fear factor is there of what I might say all togeather of the truth and the blunt truth on things that has happened in the past 16 years. Well all I can say is that it was a rotten deal from the start and knowing what goes on in a broken home. Maybe also when I start haveing children of my own some will start realizeing what they have missed also. I knew my older siblings better than the 2 younger ones. That is what I don't want to have happen to others that are around. Other than that I can care less on what happends from there out. Pluss I do not know what was said on the girls real mothers end also. So now I am really wanting to find out what was said without knowing me all togeather also. I just hope it was all lies that in what was said about me. Yes my attatude bites every so offten and I expect that. I have always been blunt and to the point and I will not change that for nobody. Yes there for about 4 years I diden't have a backbone and lost my way. Once I started realizeing that I don't have to eat "Shit" from anyone once again alot of things changed back to normal. I have became even more blunt and truthfull on things and I just don't give a Damn anymore on who I hurt. When I found my back bone and came up swinging alot of people diden't like it and I knew right then on who were true friends of mine. SO now that I am still swinging maybe that scares alot of folks also. I think it is funny myself and that is me. Also that is part of the problem here in NY State that people are so use to lieing thier toushes off that when they run into someone that won't lie they all run scared. At this point if I let anything affect me then I am down once again and I refuse to let that happen. It also makes me fighting mad that I have reached out my hand to someone that doesen't want squat to do with me now after I treated her well and just diden't care what others thought. Granted I am married to her father. It would be nice for her to say hey I am alive and kicking and oh by the way if she was pregnant. At this point I will start makeing sauce and if she wants it get over here and get it then tell me to go pound salt and I want nothing to do with ya after. Well if I went one way to get to some place I would run passed where she was at. I noticed that the place was up for sale and I figured since the Child Support diden't cover the total house payment becuase the support ran out. Well I did hear thru the grapevine that there was a divorce going on and said oh well. I can't get blamed for takeing away someone at all even before that date. Becuase I was already married with the First Husband when I ran into my now Husband over 20 years ago. Well I have been here in NY State for almost 17 years in May here. I was divorced for 2 years when I ran into my now Husband of 16 years.